Choosing White over Woman

The 2016 presidential election presented the female half of the U.S. electorate with a unique choice: To vote for the first woman president of the United States, a woman more than qualified to hold the position … or a pile of dog shit named Donald Trump. To my great shock, a full 53% of white women voted for the pile of dog shit. Meanwhile, women of color all over America said, “Mmm hmm. We told you so.”

Now that we’ve all had eleven nightmarish months to process the reasons white women would chose the worst specimen of the XY chromosome to lead their country over a perfectly qualified woman, I think it’s time we explore a few of the possibilities:

The pile of dog shit they voted for reminds them of the pile of dog shit they’re married to

Let’s face it: Donald Trump is a harsh, but fair, representation of many white men. Maybe most white men aren’t quite that stupid or backward or narcissistic or cruel or rich … y’know — all in one sweet package — but a whole lotta white guys out there are probably at least somewhat similar to Trump, in one way or another. And when that’s all you’re familiar with, maybe that seems normal. Who knows? Maybe it even seems good.

He reminds them of the pile of dog shit who raised them: i.e., their daddies

If you are the kind of woman who was raised to believe that “men are the head of the household,” and think that’s not only normal, but preferred, then it’s only natural that you’d delight in having a “father-figure” in the White House. Even if you’re pretty sure your daddy drinks a little too much and tries to skeeve on your cousin Pam at Christmas time. After all, that which is familiar is comfortable.

Their priest/pastor told them to do it

Many white women no doubt had the bejeesus scared out of them by a man of the cloth who told them that if they voted for the female antichrist for president, the sun would explode, America would sink into the ocean and god would sentence their children to burn in hell for all eternity. I mean, how can you really argue against that? Besides, who knows more about the Bible than Donald “Two Corinthians” Trump?

They did it to saaave the baaabiesss!!!