You know how trump keeps you in a state of emotional turmoil all the time? You’re either angry, or sad, or dismayed, or hopeless and ready to give up? Rest assured, that’s how his family feels, too.
When you live with a narcissist, your life is forever in chaos. All the time. The narcissist creates drama after drama after drama in order to wear down the people around them so they are easier to control. When you spend all of your time walking on eggshells to not upset the narcissist, you forget to even think about yourself, let alone anything that might be important to you. I guarantee you Melania and the Trump kids’ lives are a whirlwind of tasks designed to appease the Donald.
The only people narcissists seem to get along with are those willing to be bent to the narcissist’s whims, and other narcissists. That is, until, one narcissist crosses the other, which is inevitable. Then the relationship is over. If a non-narcissist dares to stand up for him- or herself, they’re no longer of any use to the narcissist. And once a narcissist is done with someone, that person is thrown away like used Kleenex. Make no mistake; Trump will throw any of his kids under the bus, even Ivanka, depending on the circumstances. His wives mean less than nothing to him. They’re strictly baby factories and arm candy until they aren’t anymore.
Who knows? Maybe all of Trump’s kids really do think exactly like their dad. Maybe they share his values and they’re comfortable upholding those values, as disgusting as those values are. Because if his children didn’t share all of his bizarre values and thoughts, they would be persona non grata. (Hello, Tiffany?) That’s the way it works with narcissists. They don’t love their kids. They own their kids. They expect their children to mirror back to them everything they love about themselves. But the children of narcissists are also supposed to have a few extra, non-threatening bonus features the narcissist can show off, not unlike an expensive watch or a new sports car.
That’s why Ivanka is the favorite. She won’t ever fully contradict or cross her dad because that’s simply unacceptable. Instead, she’s flattering and clearly knows how to manipulate him when she really needs to. On top of that, she’s the epitome of western beauty: pretty, blonde, skinny with boobs exactly the right size. She’s no different than any other thing he owns that he can show off and make people (i.e. other powerful, rich men) jealous of. That’s not how fathers are supposed to view their daughters, but it makes perfect sense if you understand how narcissists work. Everybody wants to fuck his daughter, and that makes him not defensive, but proud. Being his daughter — actually of his blood — is the reason Ivanka gets placed on a higher pedestal than Melania. Melania can divorce him. Ivanka can’t. Besides, Melania doesn’t always behave the way he wants her to.
Just imagine if any of the Trump kids got fat. They would either cease to exist or he’d turn on them, bullying them to try to get them to lose weight because he’d consider them an embarrassment. His weight, you’ll notice, doesn’t matter, either because he’s in denial about how heavy he is, or he figures his superior intellect, wealth and personality cancel out the extra 75 pounds.
I can guarantee that a huge portion of Trump’s kids’ lives is focused not on their own concerns or their families’ concerns, but on keeping Daddy happy. His concerns are their concern. Because when Daddy isn’t happy, their lives are pure hell. Ivanka has had plastic surgery to please her father, for fuck’s sake. Because the prettier Ivanka is, the happier Daddy is, and the easier he is for her to be around. Because that’s how it works when your parent is a narcissist bully. If you want to maintain the relationship, you’ll do anything to please them and appease their anger. Anything to try to make them love you. Luckily for her, and with the help of good plastic surgeons, Daddy Trump will probably be long dead before Ivanka starts to really show her age.
Does that make me feel sorry for any of his kids? Not really. It’s their choice to stay in the Trumpnado. But being raised in that environment is a full-on mind fuck that often creates another generation of narcissists. When you add in billions of dollars, walking away is probably even more difficult.
When it comes to the Trump klan, we’re talking about a whole bunch of very unhappy people who have one singular focus: trying to keep Daddy Dreadful happy, which is impossible, because narcissists secretly hate themselves.