I cut off contact with my mother a year ago for similar issues. I’m 47. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I’m so glad I did. Now that the guilt has faded, I realize how much of my life she stole from me. I can’t tell you what to do but … please protect yourself and your kids. If she refuses to get help, it’s just not worth you sacrificing your own sanity. Good luck.