I Just Don’t Miss Them
An update on going no contact with both my parents
Quick background: My parents divorced in 1980, when I was 8 years old. My parents’ marriage was dysfunctional from the beginning, because they’re both immature and narcissistic.
When they separated, they made no attempt to soften the blow for my brother and me. After the divorce, they were at each other’s throats until my brother and I moved out at eighteen, and both of us bolted. They hated each other more than they loved their own kids.
Even after my brother and I left home, our parents made no attempt to have a healthy relationship with us, and most interactions were chaotic, abusive and emotionally draining. On top of that, I have PTSD from the physical punishment my mother doled out to me regularly, from the time I was in diapers — but not my brother. (Even Dad thought Mom hit me too hard and too often, but he didn’t stop her, either.) My brother has PTSD from the cruel verbal abuse Dad heaped on him his entire life.
It wasn’t so much that I wanted to stop speaking to them — I was just exhausted by the unequalness of the relationships — I gave and gave and neither of them offered any sort of love or support in return. My brother feels the same.
