Keep Your Legs Together

And other sexist bullshit

Amber Fraley
2 min readFeb 28, 2019


You know what I’m tired of? Like not just tired, but exhausted, fucking sick of hearing, for all of my 47 years here on earth?

Why don’t women just keep their legs together?

We’ve all heard it, and it may literally be the biggest load of crap ever unloaded on the female gender. Popular variations include:

- Why don’t women make better choices in men?

- Women should be more careful with birth control.

- If a woman isn’t ready to be a mother, she shouldn’t have sex.

As though women create unintended pregnancies all by ourselves.

You know what you’ll almost never hear when a teenage girl has to break it to her parents she’s pregnant? Or when a couple in their 40s discovers they’re pregnant again, and they’re getting older and more tired, and they already don’t know how they’re going to pay for their existing kids’ college?

- Why don’t men just keep it in their pants?

- Why aren’t men more careful with where they deposit their sperm?

- Men should always use condoms.

- If a man isn’t ready to be a father, he shouldn’t have sex.

Why is that? Why do we, as a society, heap the entirety of the blame for unintended pregnancies on women? Women are only fertile about one week out of every month, so twelve weeks per year. And how many days per year are men fertile? Oh that’s right. One hundred percent of all the days. All 365.

But the overwhelming consensus, amongst men and a lot of women, is that it’s the woman’s sole responsibility to keep from getting pregnant.

This needs to stop. Like a thousand years ago. Boys need to be taught that their sperm is their responsibility, and once it’s “out of the gate,” so to speak, and in someone else’s body … it’s out of his control. Because if he gets someone pregnant, it’s her decision as to whether or not to carry the pregnancy to term. (You can argue this point all you want, but it’s the law, and it’s correct.) Which means that if she decides to abort and he’s not happy about it, that’s too damn bad. If she decides to carry the pregnancy to term and he has to spend the next 18 years writing a check or being a dad … well, that’s her decision too.

Men who want to have full control over being fathers need to learn to keep it in their pants.



Amber Fraley

Writing about abortion rights, mental illness, trauma, narcissistic abuse & survival, politics. Journalist, novelist, wife, mom, Kansan, repro rights activist.