Mind Your Own Business

Seriously

It has come to my attention that millions of Americans seem to believe they get to have a say over other American’s lives, rights and bodies. These people believe they get to make critical, life-altering decisions for other Americans despite the fact they themselves do not want that happening to them.

So let’s go over the rules of basic decency and remind ourselves of the many things that are none of our business:

Other People’s Genitals

Other people’s genitals are none of your business. It doesn’t matter what the person looks like, how attractive or ugly they are, what gender you believe them to be, or if you can’t figure out their gender at all — it doesn’t matter. Stop obsessing about other people’s genitals, and for the love of God, stop obsessing about other people’s kid’s genitals. It’s creepy and weird and makes you seem like you might need to be on some sort of watch list.

Other People’s Medical Issues

There should be only two people involved in the discussion of any medical procedure any American needs or wants: the patient and their doctor, unless the patient is a minor, obviously. If it’s not you or your kid getting a procedure done, it’s none of your damn business. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about…