One of the frustrating things that made it take SO MANY YEARS for me to figure out my mother is a narcissist is that the classic definition you see is that of a MALE narcissist. Female narcissists simply can’t get away with acting the way male narcissists do, so they often pretend to be perpetually sick or injured to try to coerce people into doing their bidding. I mean, the gaslighting and manipulation are there, but they often can’t get away with being a public asshole like a man can.