Remember: Narcissists Don’t Think Like Most people

Image by John Hain from Pixabay

This is the third year I haven’t called my mother to wish her a happy birthday. I’m not even going to send her a card. Why not? Because to do so might appear as an invitation to reopen the door to our relationship, and I don’t want that. I just recently stopped speaking with my controlling, abusive dad, too, and I have to say, the decision to cut off contact has been the correct one. I wish I’d done it years ago.

Birthdays and holidays are hard. I always freak myself out, thinking about my poor parents sitting alone with no one to celebrate special occasions — they’re divorced, neither is currently married and they’re so unpleasant they don’t have friends — and I start to feel deeply sad and depressed for them. Then I come back to reality and remind myself — If the situation were reversed, they wouldn’t feel sorry for me because they don’t think like me. All of the longing for a functional relationship goes only one way — my brother and I are sad because we can’t have a relationship with our parents. Our parents are sad because we won’t accept their manipulation and abuse any longer.

Always remember — narcissists are only able to feel sadness for themselves. They could give a rip about your sadness or any of your feelings. Yes, even your narcissistic parent is largely unable to empathize with their own child.