So my brother and I hit the jackpot with two malignant narcissist parents. Our mother suffered a lot of trauma growing up and her mother was a terrifying woman who was violently angry much of the time. Our dad, though, was raised by kind loving parents, and his brother, our uncle, is a kind and loving man with a great sense of humor. I can’t for the life of me figure out how our dad came to be the way he is. He throws toddler-like temper tantrums if everything isn’t his way and to his liking. He even tries to control what other people order at restaurants. I do think my grandmother indulged him whenever possible while he was growing up to avoid conflict. I haven’t cut off contact with him completely only because he engages in stalker-like behavior and it would be more hell than just trying to limit contact. Are some narcissists just born that way? I guess it’s possible he was bullied at school.

Writer, novelist, Kansan, wife, mom, essayist, journalist, reproductive rights activist, Jayhawk, dork. @KSAbortionFund