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Strategies for Setting Up Boundaries with Toxic Family Members
“Create boundaries!” Is something we often hear when it comes to dealing with abusive and toxic people in our lives, but what does that mean, in practical terms? Here are a few concrete strategies I’ve learned over the years to successfully take back control from the toxic family members in my life:
Your phone is your friend
The beauty of smartphones is you can see exactly who is calling. The one important thing to remember is this: You are under no obligation to answer your phone, ever. If you’re feeling mentally strong enough to deal with that toxic relative who’s calling, by all means, answer. If not, don’t. Be cautious about answering phone calls from numbers you don’t recognize, because people can hide their number when calling you, and toxic people are not above using such tactics.
It can be super useful when the toxic relative leaves a message. That way, you can review it and decide if they’re calling about something you even want to deal with. If they sound angry and unhinged, you don’t need to feel guilty about not returning the call. In fact, this becomes a way to “train” the toxic person into understanding you won’t respond to their whacked-out attempts for attention, and you’ll only respond when they’re being respectful.
