Taking care of a baby and raising a child are DAMN HARD WORK, especially when you're the child of narcissists, because you don't have a good model of parenting to draw from. I get you have to live with your dad now because of finances. I also empathize if you end up moving in with your boyfriend because of finances. I just hope you don't lose yourself in the process. You might see if there's some sort of new mom's club or organization in your area. What if you could get an apartment with another mom? It helps to have friends with little kids to bounce parenting ideas off of. Seriously, good luck. Please try to put you and your son and your happiness FIRST. BE SELFISH. (Which isn't really selfish at all.)