Like me, you may be thoroughly confused by trump supporters who continue to insist they are lovers of the constitution, when their fake president wipes his giant ass with it, daily. Then one day, it hit me, like a bolt of lightning:
They have their own constitution.
It is a constitution not written anywhere. It’s a collective delusion held by each and every trump supporter, only in their heads. From my exhaustive research of their primitive ways, I’ve learned their constitution goes something like this:
trump supporter constitution
We the People of the United States, who should remain mostly white and Christian, are entitled to this land, to do with as we please, without question. Preference will be given to white males, but if no white male is present, a white woman is almost, but not quite, just as good. The lord, our God, causes the sun to shine directly up our asses and blesses us with piles of American dollar bills, Amen.
The president will always be white and male and preferably Republican (maybe libertarian in a pinch).
The congress will be predominantly white and male, but we’ll allow a few token seats to women and minorities to avoid social upheaval and the appearance of impropriety. Everybody else has to be happy with that and if they’re not, that’s too damn bad because they’re wrong.
Native Americans (Indians) shall be sequestered to holding areas deemed appropriate by us, effectively making them 3rd class citizens in their own country, but that’s okay because we said so.
The times, places and manner of holding elections for senators and representatives shall be convenient for middle- and upper-class white men.
Some other stuff that ensures white men will forever retain political control of the United States of America, and forever keep the Mexicans and Muslims out, and make it so that white people never have to apologize or feel shame or even the slightest bit uncomfortable* Jesus Christ our Savior, Amen.
Abortion is illegal, with the exception of those abortions rich, white males approve and pay for.
1) Free speech, if white conservative men approve of it.
2) GUNS, GUNS, GUNS, JESUS, GUNS, JESUS, GUNS. GUNS. GUNS GUNS GUNS. JESUS. GUNS.
3) Some other shit that guarantees every white man gets a good paying job with an American-made SUV or truck in the climate-controlled attached garage and every white woman can stay home birthin’ babies and makin’ sammiches.
4) Guns, cash, Jesus.
5) THE AMERICAN FLAG.
6) Every American will stand for the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem.
7) Atheists shall be deported.
8) Deport any group of non-whites or non-Christians when we feel as though their numbers are too large or we’re intimidated by their presence.
9) Forever and ever, Amen.
*Unless you’re white trash, in which case we’ll pretend you’re equal to us, even though we secretly despise you, but we will exploit you and your anger for your votes.
Once you realize they’re following THIS constitution, then all of their simple-minded ranting suddenly makes total sense:
Obama was unconstitutional!
Killery is unconstitutional!
Democrats are unconstitutional!
Not confirming Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court is unconstitutional!
Not standing for the National Anthem is unconstitutional!
Gay marriage is unconstitutional!
If I can’t buy the gun I want, when I want it, that’s unconstitutional!
The New York Times is unconstitutional!
Abortion is unconstitutional!
A Muslim president is unconstitutional!
Once you’ve familiarized yourself with the trump supporter constitution, you can avoid many futile arguments with trump supporters who claim to support “the constitution” when they clearly don’t.