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Update: Going No Contact With Narc Parents
Still worth it, and getting easier, but also still difficult
It’s been about five years since I’ve spoken to my mom and a few months since I’ve spoken with my dad — and I mean no communication whatsoever. Not even an email.
At this point, I realize I have no desire to speak with either of them again. I don’t miss them. They brought me no joy or support. Our relationships were built on their needs alone, with no consideration for my brother or me.
Separating from them, I realize now I can’t ever remember feeling loved. You know that fuzzy feeling you get when someone who really loves you takes you in their arms and you know they will keep you safe? I don’t have that with them. Never did. Not even when I was little — and I have a memory that goes back to age 3. I remember not being comforted. I also remember being hit and screamed at, a lot.
I never felt comfortable in my own house or my own skin, because I was always wrong about something, including my body. I was never thin enough for my parents, who repeatedly tried to police and control my food. Ironically, my brother could never eat enough to make them happy, either.
Instead of loving you and accepting you, narcissist parents think they own you, and you mistake this for love…
