Yes, as I said, I have a much milder case than other people I’ve met with BPD, like my mother. Yes, I’ve read “Walking on Eggshells,” and “Understanding the Borderline Mother,” which was an absolute revelation in helping me understand my own mother. (And her mother, and her mother, because this goes back generations in my family.) But it took me several years to admit I was also reading about myself. Ultimately, I was more interested in getting well than in continuing to lie to myself. I also didn’t want to continue any behaviors that were hurtful to my husband and daughter, and thankfully, she doesn’t seem to exhibit any BPD-like behaviors. I have met a couple other women like me with milder cases of BPD, who grew up in batshit homes and have been able to get therapy, so it’s not entirely impossible to get away from, but it is incredibly difficult. Living with BPD is to live in a very dark place.
Thanks for the shout-out! And don’t date any more BPD women! Haha!